Only Two!

Tuesday was a    day

Things are still looking good, I only ran into about two antsy/anxious episodes. One came about 4:00pm, when both kids were home and in full-energy mode. I was just sitting waiting for Husband to get home so I would get a somewhat quiet relief and hide out upstairs.

Husband woke up feeling ill, and had been up since about 3am. He also had a dentist appointment at 1:15, so he took the whole day off. This fact did nothing to help me with Monster as he slept until about noon. I wasn’t going to wake him, not after such a bad night, but my day didn’t come to overwhelming stress that would lead me into a panic attack either. Of course Monster was loud, and now that he can not be contained in a safe area like his fenced pen, so it is taking even more energy out of me throughout the day. He is into everything, and seems to know what items are his toys and things that are ok to play with, and ignores them to get to other thing more exciting.

However, the in-laws gave Monster a new toy; it is a larger, plastic jeep from Jurassic Park. He has been playing with that a lot. The only thing is that the side door slides out so that passenger could use a mounted gun, and it comes all the way off, I think it is broken, but that doesn’t stop Monster. Every so often, he would bring me the chair, and I would have to ask for the jeep, put it back together, and send him on his way. Literally, I did this about 20 times throughout the day. It kept him busy, but the constant interruption got annoying.

The second episode came when Husband tried to force me to go to the “Y” to do my daily exercise, at 7:30pm! His job is to make me mad at him, and have me give in and just go. I finally agreed, but dreaded every step getting ready. By the time my shoes were on, and I was trying to find the clip for my iPod, I was putting myself into anxiety mode. I ended up not going, but did a little weight lifting with Husband. I think that because of the gray, rainy day, I was having issues with going anywhere at all.

My seasonal depression is starting to kick in, meaning less energy and lower moods. I have started using my light box, even through this Indian Summer we are having. I have faith the light box will help, I only wish the seasonal stuff had been diagnosed earlier. Now that I am thinking about it, while in Houston, I was in the hospital yearly sometime around November/December. It was hard to see since the weather is mostly nice year round. I got my light box last year, mid-season, and within a week of using it regularly, I started feeling better.