My baby is growing up

Wednesday was a two star day
Since it is now Thursday night, and I have missed blogging while this day is fresh in my mind, it will be another short post. I spent most of the day alone since the kids were at school and Auntie’s house.

It was the last day Daughter would go to her preschool/daycare, and the day of her kindergarten open house. There are some big, big changes I her life, and she is feeling the stress. She has been clingy and whiny and overall not her usual self. This just puts more stress on me, and Monster is still sick, so it’s been a hard week or two. I had to buy the rest of Daughter’s school supplies, pick up Monster and drop him off within a small window, but got it all done.

I started feeling some paranoia, just out of nowhere. I was afraid for my safety, my kids and the car. I kept looking over my shoulder, locked the car multiple times to be sure, and things like that. When it got to its peak, it was fortunate I was just about home and had time for a nap.

The open house was nice; we met the teacher and got to know her new room, then Daughter happened to meet her locker mate. Daughter got nervous and scared while there, which made me feel worse. I started to get emotional just walking around and seeing the other kids there. My baby is starting school, and I don’t know that I am ready for it. Up until now, I thought I was, but now I just don’t think I’ll make it through Monday morning without some tears.

Overall, I felt pretty good, but there were bouts of deep depression. For some reason, this has been coming back and the anxiety is getting more in check. I guess that is just the ups and downs of bipolar. Having something to focus on with errands or while finding specific information we needed for school helps keep my mind off things.