Funky Vision

Friday was a      day
Even though the sun is rising later, I am still waking early, earlier than my alarm most mornings. I am usually unable to get back to sleep, and if I do, it is only for about 10-15 minutes. Daughter is still climbing into bed with us in the middle of the night, it isn't every night, but it is becoming common.

I wasn't feeling well, starting Thursday night. Driving home from my mom's after picking up Daughter's Halloween costume was very difficult. My vision became shaky, I was dizzy and feeling sleepy, very suddenly, and I have no idea why. I also had some abdominal pains that kept me from working out. My plan was to go straight from moms to the “Y”. I was feeling some pains before I left, but they tripled and covered a larger area of my lower abdomen, so I canceled that. Friday morning, I still had some pains, but they were much less, I was still extremely fatigued and felt dizzy. I sent Monster to a drop-in daycare for the day while I slept and went to the therapist.

The only thing I had planned for Friday was my appointment with my therapist. It was another lazy day with only a small amount of steps going towards my goal. I truly want to get going with this exercise thing to loose a bunch of weight I gained from the pregnancies. After Monster, I lost as much weight as I had put on, 35 pounds over  a course of about 8 months. Since that weight loss, and mostly over the last 6-10 months, I gained it all back. I am sick of looking this way, when I see pictures myself in a group photo, I look larger than everyone else, and it hurts. In my mind, I don't feel that much larger, but photos don't lie.

Every time I go to the “Y”, I am hoping to be able to swim, but over the last month or so, it just hasn't been possible. Either there is a class going on, leaving one lane for lap, and it is taken, or there are three open, but then all are taken then too; sometimes there are even multiple people in the lanes. I choose not to swim with other people in my lane because of how slow I am. Most likely people will get annoyed with my constant stopping and change of strokes making my pace unpredictable. I don't know exactly when the busy times are, and sometimes when there are classes the entire lap pool is taken. I dress for walking every time, and that's good since I just can't seem to get into the pool.

The appointment with my therapist went well. I have not been doing the homework she gave me, so we used the situation of the decision to either stay home alone or go along to the in-laws for the weekend with the rest of the family. The homework was to identify the feelings and thoughts about the situation and rate them as to how intense they were, then note the flaws in my thinking, and finally describe some better thoughts and feelings I could use to react to the situation.

Since the appointment was shorter than usual, I went over to Sally Beauty Supply to get some hair dye. It is red, and not like a auburn or burgundy like I usually do, but a true red. It is called “wild fire” and is not quite fire engine red, but a brownish brick red. I can't wait to do my hair. Family will freak out and tell me that they don't like it but I don't care. It's my hair, and this is what I choose to do with it.

Other than feeling weird and being extremely tired (I even took two naps) things were ok. We had spaghetti for dinner, one of my favorites, and watched some more “Chuck” from first season.