Art Hop

Sunday was a two star day
I had another volunteering job, this time for Target and with my sister. We were at Loring Park in Minneapolis, monitoring the Art Hop busses. As people got off, we counted how many there were and offered them a pamphlet. There were three art fairs going on Sunday, and this bus made a big circle, shuttling them between and to a park-n-ride. The time didn’t go by too slowly, it was nice to be able to sit and talk with Sister; we don’t do that too often.

Husband was grumpy, and he made a joke to me as I was leaving the art fair about neglecting my family, but I think he was partially serious. Earlier that morning, the house was still a mess from Saturday when hubby was home alone with the kids most of the day. In fact, it was horribly messy, he didn’t make one effort to keep things partially tidy. Sunday morning he was super serious with me and told me I had to clean, either right then or when I got home. There was no way he would let me off, and he was a jerk about it. I cleaned a bit before I left, and when I got home, the kitchen was done, but nothing else! It couldn’t have taken him more than twenty minutes to put away dishes and wipe off the counters. He doesn’t do floors, and he believes a lot of the things on the kitchen table are mine, so he just complains about it and never does anything. He also won’t do the living and dining room, that’s “my area” to clean, every single time.

When I got home, I got upset because he was upset. I made Daughter clean up her many, many puzzles and toys she brought downstairs, and then start on her room. She cried and screamed that she couldn’t do it herself, she needed help. I broke down the items to do into manageable chunks, but she still complained. It came down to either clean her room (the two simple tasks I asked her to do) or just go to her room and sit there, punished. She then screamed she didn’t want to do either choice and just cried, loudly. She also cried for Nana to help her, and she wanted to go back to Nana’s to clean there. She doesn’t like cleaning at our house.

As you can imagine, I got stressed and frustrated by the constant back and forth with Daughter, and the fact that everything was left for me to do downstairs. Husband disappeared to clean the loft after a bit. But basically that means cleaning his desk, straightening the couch cushions and bringing down the dishes. There is never any vacuuming or dusting or doing anything that involves things not belonging to him or not of his responsibility (loosely decided with his own judgment). I could go on and on about cleaning in this house. But it just makes me feel stressed about the gaps in what we think are whose responsibility and also how to split up the work.

Since I started back on the full dose of Provigil, Saturday, I hadn’t taken an afternoon nap. Husband would have allowed it both days, but I was trying to prove to myself that I could go without, especially because I didn’t feel as drained at those times. By the time I got home from the art fair, I was feeling just a little tired, and wanted some time to relax. Instead I came home to someone upset because he “took care of the children allllll weekend”. Poor baby, I do it all the time, this is another issue we battle on, like the cleaning.Then, he immediately pushed me into cleaning, and so we were all busy for about 2 ½ hours. This is when I was dealing with screaming Daughter, on my own, while Husband listening to his podcasts with big noise canceling headphones, unable to hear anything else. He then left with Daughter, leaving me to feed and put Monster to bed an hour after this point. At 8:00, I really didn’t care of the baby was tired enough to go to sleep, it was his usual getting ready for bed time. I tucked him in, and went to my room to relax and read a little, hoping that I would fall asleep about 9:00. Usually when I try to go to be early, I don’t lay down until 9 or 9:30, and then I do some crossword puzzles, and it is after 10:00 before I know it. I did fall asleep, and I was surprised that I slept all the way through; I had accidentally left my cell phone downstairs, so I didn’t have my alarm. Husband slept in (a-g-a-i-n) and woke me about the right time.

I am feeling all negative about Husband, but from how the weekend went, and his attitude, I don’t know if he deserves this bashing or not. He is usually helpful and understanding, and we just click together when this kind of stuff happens.