6200+ Steps

Tuesday was a      day
I was still feeling pretty good after have such an upbeat Monday. It wasn't quite as high, but it was still a good day. MOMS Club had planned to go to the MOA for “Toddler Tuesday”, but when I checked that morning, no one had RSVPd. I was feeling excited about my new Actiped (which I will describe in another post, it's basically a super-duper pedometer), and went to the MOA by myself to get in some walking. I walked all three levels, and when I had finished, I realized that Monster had dropped his little tractor somewhere along the way. I wanted to get even more steps in, so I back-tracked the first and second laps I walked. I didn't find it, and guest services did not have any toys turned in, so I gave up. It was a nice little tractor that winds up when you pull it back and traveled pretty well. It was one of Monster's favorite “cars” but now I'm sure some other little boy has it. Grrr.

After more than 6200 steps, I went home to take a nap, but realized that I had a 1:00 appointment with my psychiatrist, which completely ruined those plans. I tried to lay Monster down for that 1 ½ hours that were left before having to leave, but he had none of that. We sat around until it was time to go, and then we both napped when we got home.

At the psychiatrist, things went fine. My meds are going to stay where they are for now, even though I am having those severe mood swings. There really isn't much to do medication-wise to help any more than it already is, besides, almost all my meds are maxed out (it is unsafe to increase any of their dosages).

I only got in about ½ hour of sleep before Daughter got home from school, so I let her inside, and immediately went back to bed. I set out a snack and juice, turned on the tv, and she turned into an undisturbable (is that a word) tv zombie like she usually does, making it unnecessary to supervise her.

I got depressed that evening, and went into this mode that I have been experiencing for the last two months. It is always hard to explain my feelings, but I will try again. I am antsy while being depressed and anxious at the same time. I feel the need to do something, but I just can not find the energy or desire enough to make that effort and actually do it.